Teacher calls her 41-year-old retired husband a loser because he spends all day playing video games: 'I make $125k/yr in income off my liquid assets. I just want to chill after working a stressful job for 15 years'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 18, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Most of us can expect to work nearly every day for at least 8 hours a day until we're 65; for some, it'll be even longer. There is a way out of this ratrace, but it doesn't come easy. There's a whole community of people who work extremely hard and make a ton of money in the first 20 years of their career, invest it properly, and live off of that for the rest of their lives so they don't have to work anymore. It's called FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early), and along with overemployment, it's a new favorite financial planning strategy for Redditors everywhere. 

FIRE followers work so hard to achieve this early retirement that they sometimes lose sight of why they even want it in the first place. Does one retire early so they can chillax and play video games all day for the rest of their lives? The wife of this FIRE retiree says absolutely not.

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    RADEON
    via Samsung Memory

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My Fire Journey - Wife called me "Loser"
    via u/SPACE-W33D
  • 03
    41m, $2mm liquid, $650k retirement and I get a $75k/yr royalty from a business I sold. Recently retired. Wife is a school teacher, good for healthcare. I make $125k/yr in income off my liquid assets.
    via u/SPACE-W33D
  • 04
    Since November began, it's cold and dark early so a lot of what I do M-F when she's at work is l play GTA (video game) on the edibles bc nothing else to do where I live this time of year.
    via u/SPACE-W33D
  • 05
    Wife came home early today and I'm stoned in the middle of a conversation w/ my GTA online friends. She told me I'm becoming a "Loser" but this is me during the day when she works. I admit it's immature but we dont have kids and I just want to chill after working a stressful job for 15 years
    via u/SPACE-W33D
  • 06
    I make dinner, clean the house, paid for our nice house and make 2x what she makes as a school teacher from my assets and royalty income. If I want to get high and play video games when she is working what is the problem? We take nice trips across the world in the summer when she's off.
    via u/SPACE-W33D
  • 07
    She said I'm too told for this but there's not much else to do in the winter. I just want to chill but I can tell she doesn't like it. Early retirement does not fit well in this society.
    via u/SPACE-W33D
  • 08
    Bease344512 14h ago I feel like this is more a relationship counseling thing than a Fire thing. I recommend getting on the same page as your spouse as divorce can ruin a retirement quickly.
    via u/Bease344512
  • 09
    Godfatherrr6 • 13h ago • Last sentence OP. Read it 50 times. Drop any ego you could have and communicate with her! Plan together and get on the same train. Obv taking some time to enjoy yourself is warranted, there seems to be a disconnect here tho.
    via u/Godfatherrr6
  • 10
    She is still feminine and wants to be attracted to you. Her working and you being home and doing things that would be considered "lazy" if overdone, can cause a lack of sexual polarity. Pursue new hobbies, keep growing as a person, keep being a great leader. You got this
    via u/Godfatherrr6
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    juancuneo 13h ago • Yeah OP about to be making $65k a year of the illiquid assets unless he had a prenup. The real issue here is OPs wife doesn't see OP improving himself and she is losing the attraction. I'm sure she has said this in other ways and he clearly doesn't want to change. It is what it is.
    via u/juancuneo
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    RaceOriginal • 8h ago • it just sounds like cultural propaganda to me, it's not socially acceptable to "play games' when you retire, you will always have to work on something even if it's not what you enjoy. When do you truly rest and get to do what you want in this life? never according to society
    via u/RaceOriginal
  • 13
    I_Own_A_Fedora_AMA • 7h ago It's perfectly socially acceptable to play games when you retire, the problem here is doing it while stoned and doing nothing else. If OP was playing competitively, or streaming, or playing sober, or playing less, wife/society would probably be good with it. Culture has evolved to reject descending into a state of pure and constant comfort to the exclusion of all else. It's done so because it's
    via u/I_Own_A_Fedora_AMA
  • 14
    against human nature. Over the course of our thousands of years of living in a society where that kind of behavior is possible, we've collectively seen everyone who tries it become disconnected, unhappy, and strange. Pure hedonists are often unattractive and quick to anger. Lessons have been learned, collectively, as a society, and there is wisdom in culture that should not be so casually dismissed as propaganda.
    via u/I_Own_A_Fedora_AMA
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    SicnarfRaxifras • 12h ago Also think about your long term well being - right now you sound like you got a bit depressed in your high stress job and are trying to self manage that. This may be ok short term but long term it's not good for you. I can tell you from experience that the old people who are living large are the ones who still have purpose - be that hobbies or something else meaningful. People who just check out aren't great - so before long you may find your health slides and your ment
    via u/SicnarfRaxifras
  • 16
    Now given you're over high stress stuff, how about something like Volunteering - your wife will see it as useful and respectful and you might get a sense of achievement / value out of it without doing something stressful ? Plus you pick what days you do it, then you game or woodwork or whatever on the others.
    via u/SicnarfRaxifras
  • 17
    Deyachtifier 11h ago Life is more than money. It's great you solved the money game but you are more than just your net worth, and if you're in a relationship "you" are more than just yourself.
    via u/Deyachtifier
  • 18
    I am also married to a teacher. It is a hard, demanding job that does not pay what it is worth. But that's not why she does it, she does it for more than the money. Your wife, too, probably looks at her vocation as more a calling than a source of cash. My wife appreciates the income I provide in that it enables her to do what she loves, but she also loves seeing me do other stuff - helping our kids with homework, puttering around fixing things, make dinner for the fam once and a while, organizin
    via u/Deyachtifier
  • 19
    For your wife, in addition to everyone's pointedly excellent advice to communicate, I'll add to find out your wife's "Love Language", as it can give you guidance on high payoff actions (FIRE is high payoff for effort, right?) My wife loves when I take her out on dates, or other acts of service. I've sent flowers to her classroom, delivered on a Monday so she has them on her desk all week. She is involved in local politics, and I volunteered to be her candidate's website maintainer (easy/fun work
    via u/Deyachtifier
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    dualsplit ⚫14h ago • Is there any talk of her retiring with you? Or she just needs to keep working because she's good for health insurance?
    via u/dualsplit
  • 21
    mattava90 • 14h ago Yeah context is missing on how the retirement discussion went down which is important here. It's very possible she has some hidden resentment that she has to go out and work during the week while her partner is just chilling at home gaming. Which is entirely understandable if she wasn't offered the ability to retire alongside her husband.
    via u/mattava90
  • 22
    SPACE-W33D OP 14h ago • She likes her job and doesn't want to retire yet. Says she's too young. I feel differently but I had a more stressful job before I retired and got burnt out
    via u/SPACE-W33D
  • 23
    irlartificer 14h ago Bruh. Have you met your own wife? Teaching is stressful AF.
    via u/irlartificer
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    Hi_Hungry_Im_Leaving • 14h ago She didn't call you a loser. She said you're becoming a loser...or rather you're exhibiting behaviors that she foresees as unhealthy long term for yourself and your relationship. Gaming is fine. Getting high... Maybe fine as long as it's not a habit. Retiring early is great. Having hobbies is great. Keeping in touch with friends is great. Being sedentary and choosing unhealthy habits may be detrimental long term.
    via u/Hi_Hungry_Im_Leaving
  • 25
    scummy_shower_stall • 11h ago > Being sedentary and choosing unhealthy habits may be detrimental long term. Not to mention people like that become utterly boring. I understand stress, but if all he's doing is getting stoned and playing video games..? I mean, a year, maybe, fine, but start to do more with your life. Volunteer, give to the larger community, something.
    via u/scummy_shower_stall
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    LakashY 14h ago And very likely detrimental to their relationship in the short term
    via u/LakashY
  • 27
    Aggiemoviefan • 14h ago Even if you can retire you don't want to be a didn't want to marry a college w d smoking . She . I've got a nearly 8 figure nest egg but my wife doesn't want me walking around the house all day in underwear eating ice cream. Even if I won the powerball she wouldn't want me to do that. Being a loser has nothing to do with money. Lots of rich losers out there. Lots of hard working honorable poor people.
    via u/Aggiemoviefan
  • 28
    Bagel_bitches ⚫13h ago Watching your husband go from successful, driven and thriving to a stoned gamer can be hard for anyone, whether you pull 125k per year in royalties or not. If she has never seen you jobless this may be a shock to her.
    via u/Bagel_bitches

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